the obvious

I changed my mind- LINKEDIN is now becoming a STONE in my SHOE- Ich änderte meine Geist-LINKEDIN wird jetzt ein Stein in meiner SHOE- 私はLinkedInのは、今私の靴の中STONEになってきている私のmind-を変更- 我改變了我的mind- LinkedIn的石頭現在已經成為在我的鞋-BYE BYE- バイバイ- 再見

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My Continued Commentary on Baby names


I am almost through with baby names since i never got good replies on my list- Yea- One of the names was ‘Fondue’- but I was really thinking donuts of chocolate, not chocolate donuts @ the time

Ya know when you really think about it- ‘Lotion’ would be pretty good baby name, too.

I could get real gear-head and name my baby – ‘Mechanic’

No Honey- “Maid’ would be too cruel on the child….er uh Mayde, Mied, mayied… more to follow….

Please never name your child- ‘Gimp’

Damn, ‘Remote Control’ has way too many syllables……..uh……RC! get over here, and pick up that lego off the floor

Hey- Dodger! Feed the pups, now! Los Angeles Dodgers

I think I wanna name my baby after a boat brand…or cigarettes naw I quit drinkin and smokin so….er uh

Hey ELLGY, can yo go get me a beer , honey, please…..

Golfball;Pinball, anything that has a cool appliance name……

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This is a Reminder to Write a Thank You Note to the Boy Scouts.

REMINDER: Send letter of thanks to troop 137, 217 of the Boy Scouts of America .RE: Recent Jamboree and antics- Camp Wana Wana Tobago,TN To: staff, et. al.

Thank you for a great host and Jamboree last summer. Why, who would have knew to look before using toilet paper with fishing line! And when you, and if ever you guys have been fed Dave’s Insanity Sauce with your meatloaf; that Dave, oh, you’ll know for sure , that he needs some therapy, not a sauce factory, haha Good one. By the way, when “Shorty” (troop 4) accidentally spilled some on my legs, the Doc said he is giving me a special clinical trial cream for the second degree burns, tell “Shorty” not to cry anymore….I’m OK.

I also had fun with you guys testing me on how to swim in that cool quicksand pit you guys set up- Wowo! I thought I was done!.(Thank you troop 217, for standing by watching the activity, and then decide to hep) By the way Oagie, That was me that put that Rotten egg in your armpit and we all laughed when you and Charlie woke up and the Pups were licking all that honey and chicken feathers off of you.

Tell Moose (troop 137) it is OK , too, everyone get’s hung upside down every now and then, and to quit crying in a letter to his mom, because we used padding this time, thanks to one of the parents working @ the Mental health center, and a rigger that is a roadie wannabe for Clint Black. It didn’t take you no time getting the gelatin bag out of your shoes, did it?- That stuff is funky after you use it.

Thank you again guys for hosting the fun, I will get you back, er ah get back @ you soon, exclusively mine, er ah yours

signed ,

Hippo Butt

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Summary- Everyone knew Pat; everyone didn’t know Pat was late; it was unusual for Pat to be late, everyone wanted to know where Pat was- I can only summarize in so many characters with this headline in parts, how my second grade class DAY was @ one time with the use of the word, “THAWTHIDGE”.

He was my best friend- So what if his mom made me take off my shoes @ the entrance; so what if he told on me, about the stupid stuff, when he wanted me to leave his house when we were arguing while playing- I didn’t want fish heads and rice for dinner last night, anyway- Where was he? Class is getting ready to start.

Me and Pat had that angle every day, since Penny- the goons daughter- got me good; I still didn’t, quite, get the fill-in-the-blanks color forms, yet; and I didn’t understand the directions, but, Penny told me to just copy off her page; when I turned it into the teacher, she asked if my name was Penny (the goons daughter) Scalisi….I said no…. I was embarrassed, she was laughing and pointing at me.

Since then, me and Pat have been slacking around waiting for all the girls to pick up the toys before class, as we acted like we were doing something, and the girls were doing all the work- a trick that still works today, but, with some embellishments- These days while being grown up, sometimes, we send noobs (or New people on the Job) in our line of work, to other departments- to ask THEM if there is anything THEY can do in another department besides our department….. we all just laugh and laugh @ the other departments when they gave us this stare as a question the head would ask, “Why Me?” .

But no, I got caught slacking this day in second grade, and really had to help pick up the toys this time , and because Pat was not there as back-up. Was Pat sick? Did he get into a horrible wreck and get mangled enough to make it on an episode of Emergency? (We thought that TV looked so real, back then) Even our teacher was wondering, because it wasn’t like Pat -to be late or absent from school- he was Japanese ya know.

Well after the teacher was getting ready, and all the coats and toys were put up, the teacher suddenly looked out the window, and sure enough, for the first time, Pat was almost late, the bell had not officially rang out, yet. Pat was walking in, hurried by his mom from out of the car, and almost gasping with what was still in his mouth. It was, as if everyone in class had a telescope of curiosity; as if, Pat was gonna get away with what -ever it was in his mouth and it was big and round like 4 packs of bubble-gum. We all just kept staring….

The teacher NEVER allows bubble-gum, and we were all kind of still staring @ him almost in slow motion, looking back, with no explanation from Pat as to why he was late, we all were looking @ a huge bulge coming from Pat’s mouth and the teacher did not see it yet – she was writing on the chalkboard or shuffling papers for us to do homework , for sure.

As the teacher turns around it was Pat and the slobber coming from his mouth that demanded the class’ attention including the teacher with her finally asking, “Pat, what is THAT in your MOUTH?” Pat’s attempted and slobbering reply was, ” THAWTHIDGE! “, in a voice like he just got caught with 4 packs of bubble-gum. We all just could not stop laughing,the teacher removing part of the last of Pat’s fast breakfast. Instead of doing reading we went straight to music lessons.

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Your Mom Knows I Love Massachusetts

A commentary from  the following article from The Boston Globe and the recent bad weather-  http://www.bostonglobe.com/business/2015/01/28/power-restored-most-massachusetts-customers/INUHIOJQW08lswxBUFeYHL/story.html?event=event25

I don’t know if this is a good thing- But just as Dracula will wake upon the darkness- Go Boston- Tell your Mom I said hello again. And yes- Boston knows I love their mom so shut up! I still will always have my Boston Privileges, because of your mom. Ahhh….She’s probably still hidin that musket in the basement, ya gypsies gaw on. I took your dads last beer that day….Tell your sister I have that ointment for her knees; Doc says she could put it around her neck, too. How’s your uncles mattress ya freak of nature? I picked up your dad from work……….. in the baroom bathroom again; I picked up your dad for work……….. in the baroom bathroom again. Yea?- And your mom wants me to give her that meatloaf recipe, too; But, I am gonna have ta wait till the pool guys are done with her; and it’s really early in the morinin and all that….Tell your mom I need me some new slippers; She could put them next to the cereal this time. And by the way , tell your sisters friends to stop calling me for beer runs ok? The one that keeps calling – I wonder if the grease put HER on, I can’t tell? Your sister was trying to hook me up with that grease pit, but Eddie’s mutt beat me to it, and I am glad, too. Eddie still can’t get detached from her, grease and all, poor guy. And what’s with that skinny poindexter guy? He looks like he just took a lie detector test, Take a bath, man. He better not say one Spock quote….or Yoda, shit.; you people are afraid of clowns? – Say one piece of Gandalf in my house fuckers!-By the way your wife’s mattress is better than your mom’ s couch but, only your uncle is suppose ta know that. Ahh man, don’ t you ever clean the shower, I know you take one, cause of the shit stickin on the shower from you and your brother showerin together; I never saw anybody Gnaw out the bone of a ham like your Brother did that day, dude, no wonder why you guys shower together. I told your sister she had a cock mouth, and damned if she didn’t go and get her that chicken, eh? Next time we go to the strip club, please don’t ask your wife for her tips in front of everybody ok, jerk? I reviewed a restaurant in town recently- Your mom likes it- Tasty Burger 1301 Boylston Street, Boston, MA Google it- http://www.yelp.com/biz/tasty-burger-boston– Thanks for taking my Kids there too.

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I used to work@ a very Prestigious Museum of Contemporary Art and met some good folks. There were times that I liked to get together with friends on occasions, and being near the beach , free food and free ride, was to mean-any occasion that came up. One of my brother’s friends-Brian- who, also was an aspiring artist, worked there, together with Heather his girlfriend. I was the person that had the beach more in mind, and any way to pack my surfboard , skateboard, get some rays in; I was all over the idea, bringing the beers @ times – my brother and Brian invited me over to His girlfriend’s duplex near the beach for a little BBQ. (and I didn’t have to drag a nag- my girlfriend).

After getting high and drinking a couple in the afternoon, it is time to hit the beach; really, anytime during the day you could do this, afterward, it is time to hit the surf- I am more of a body surfer, than a Surfboard Surfer; I wanted to learn more how to surf- I am not a- ‘HODAD’- A term typical to California- being a name called in school from other rugrats that live near the beach and say they surf- but don’t know how to surf. Brian knew how to surf pretty good. I kept noticing Heather, although she was very attractive, I knew her and Brian had a big spark of a connection, even drunk, I knew my bounds- we were good friends- No- It was something Heather was doing, from in-between the duplexes that caught my attention-There were plates and food going in and out of another duplex @ the end of the BBQ feast we had. We were all laughing @ each other @ the beach, especially my attempts for standing on a surf-board.

After sitting and opening up even more beer, I met Billy. This was one of the folk I noticed too, making the liquor store runs from time to time; throughout the times we were there, before or after work- the idea is, that there were many times Brian needed a ride because Heather was already @ work, and it was on the way to get, yet, another free ride from my brother who could pick both of our non- driving asses up. (ideally, if we were going to work we didn’t really drink, because drinking, and reading didn’t mix very well, but…shhhh.) My first impression of Billy was Busy, and concerned with a lot of beer and liquor bottles and soup cans- Billy was , in fact, a “Framer”, and a damn good one, Brian would keep showing me and my brother some of “Billy’s” jobs @ times as he was also showing us the next bud he was getting ready to roll and we were getting ready to smoke. This is what was coaxing all of us during the Triumphs of Purchases that were getting few and far between- I was impressed with Billy’s Jobs, and the bud.

This time it was my time, with Eugene- I don’t know how else to put it. We were the Museum types. Maybe, this is what Billy was referring to, when talking to Brian about in a hint of conversation, that somehow, brought about angst, between Billy, Brian and Heather, when they were together inside Heather’s duplex. My brother was very good @Listening- he was excellent for listening, though, I was good @ listening , too. I think Brian and Heather knew I was also a conversationalist. I would come off the Bat with dialog i.e. ‘Which way do you place your toilet paper roll?’, was my ‘thing’ question @ the time…..Without having to go through this, the conversation led me to meeting or @ least talking about this Eugen. It wasn’t going to be that night, it was going to be another time, during the day, I was focused on the beach and activities, waiting before or after work, and then when I would finally meet Eugene.

Before going to the Duplex @ the end of the court, where Billy kept coming in and out of; where Brian and Heather kept running in and out of; where all of the latter and now, including my Brother, were having a conversation about, I noticed what I had remarked about that night we were drinking. THE MASK. It was a very remarkable image of beauty, that even, perhaps Patrons of the museum could remark. There was depth and the face was impressive figure of a man’s face, with a heavy beard that flared as a flame being blown around the figure face. It was marble and cut, and I never knew if it was something that Eugene had bought or cut- it was unique. It even had a energy that shown and asked out for some remark, and we were all talking about it as being ‘Eugene’s Art’ and how impressive it was- There also was an Eyeball from Billy, because I was attracted to the piece, and as with Heather and other Museum artwork, this was out- of- bounds, regardless of the worth according to Billy.

I was expecting to see artwork before I met Eugene, because, I was being introduced by both my brother and Brian to him. When I walked in , it was the afternoon, I was wanting to go through the routine of rolling one and then hitting the waves, but I also wanted to meet Eugene, now, I was anticipating the meeting. I wanted to talk to him about the MASK, and if there was another piece like that he knew about or, whether he had in fact, sculpted it, and wondered of the worth. It was mostly just a list of things, conversation-wise, that I could muster up in my head ahead of time to engage Eugen. As I walked through the door, my brother and I were silent, and Brian’s first comment to Eugene was loud and, Brian knew that I would pick up his gesture and follow along the line that Eugene was hard of hearing, his vision was weak, he was committed to a wheelchair, 2/3 twelve packs of beer and a bottle of Seagrams or the equivalent whisky on sale that week, and the occasional can of Campbells Cream of Chicken soup. His bed was an old hospice bed, and the kitchen was in disarray, the trash can was full of beer cans.

This occasion, all three of us were on Eugene’s bed- it was an old hospital bed, perhaps he got from the VA; we were all facing Eugen in his wheelchair- We all talked to Eugene about this, a better bed, and the medals and awards from his exploits with the Army Corps of Engineers which kept interrupting the Bed topic. We wanted to find, Eugene a better wheelchair, and we talked about it in between Eugene’s ramblings about his wife and the war. We talked about his awards with him, as we wanted him to eat something, besides ask one of us to go back to the liquor store, because he was getting low on beer- This seemed to push his frame of mind from completing his topic for conversation, as if the shiny bottles and cans and the company were a reason for us to continue to engage in more camaraderie and more beer. The liquor bottle was similar around the end of the afternoon, half full, with a shot waiting, till Eugene finished an “Old Soldier” as Eugene would call them. Then it was simply, another beer.

I knew now what Billy was doing, and what Brian and Heather had just inherited, and they were trying to make better plans for Eugene- Eugene was alive- But Eugene was dying, too. His faculties were alive for just the moment of having a gleam in his eye that looked @ you with the cutest of a Baby Koala bear, his voice was gentle and pure as if he was a child, hoping to have anyone go and endorse his dying request. How could someone compel you to let him win, this was Eugene’s appeal to me, now, it was a Lamentation for all of us now. I couldn’t go surfing, I couldn’t even drink around Eugene- I wanted to pass him a joint, because he allowed us to light up and wanted us to enjoy ourselves , too. And many of the first greetings to him was to ask if YOU had anything to eat, then ask for extra change.

Billy had to have been the one to stop Eugen from going on his own to the Liquor store, because I alway heard Billy say he will just roll over there as he used to- I really never knew the early beginnings of Eugene, except the dusty certificates they used to hand out in the day on the small living room wall, and the old pictures of his wife, that passed, and we all assumed that Eugene was done, He was probably done because, the cognizant loops of thought were about this and @ times about the war, which usually faded to his nodding off, and we learned to gage his sleep time to the end of a bottle. We wondered if this nod was the time, that Billy kept reminding all of us- If we were the last to see Eugene, slumped over in his wheelchair, and the liquor bottle was low, that it was our turn to buckle his strap in the hospital bed, take out the trash and close the door behind us. We wanted @ least to be able to do this ONE thing for Eugene.

This was certainly a hard thing to pass, the rides, walking in and out of Eugene’s house, wondering what to do for him. Billy was committed , but, Brian was looking for a way out, and the Couple were having a rough time. I didn’t know if this was the reason, their decision to move out of the duplex because of Billy and Eugene. But, Heather and Brian were back into a different apartment, we were once again, back and forth to Eugene’s but on less occasions- I never knew if another couple or person moved into the duplex near Billy’s and Eugenes. But ……

It was the one day that Brian was not answering his calls, and no one was around, and it seem a bit odd that Brian and Heather were not home around this time after work. About a week later Brian told me when I finally talked to him that someone forgot to strap Eugene in one night, and Billy found Eugene on the floor- Brian, was the one that Billy gave THE MASK that Eugene had on his front porch, because he was the ‘Museum type’ and what Billy was arguing to Heather and Brian about- What could we have done for Eugene?  Everybody! – To Eugene! – He won!

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Marketing is fun

Be prepared to get a random set of Velcro in the mail with a self-address stamped envelope when you open the package- It’s the only thing funny that folks won’t freak out over, perhaps a boy named Johnny Fondue one day will get it and pass it on to another random address on the empty envelope so it can’t be traced back to me, really. I also, will be sending out my Empty oatmeal cartons with two beans and a bag of goose down feathers- chain letter. Brand Hippo BUTT and Velcro will be one if we can land that endorsement. I might send SONY both. 

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The Exclusive Answers to my Troll Math problems- Better study before the Quiz.

This MATH will only tell you where I spend My time, @ times, throughout the day, as well as who the pool man is with, RIGHT NOW: 

If the Function (F) is equal as follows: Y = m2 ; U= O; R= M solve the following Binomial using the Functions:

( Y + U ) ( O² + R ) – O =  YO²UR-O

( M² + O) ( O² + M ) – O = M²O²M

Now that’s Math!

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BARBARA Hammet is NOT the AUTHOR of MY material, and ……

I don’t know how who she is and how she put HER name on MY FILES.

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